Monday, December 8, 2008

need more coffee...I guess and more hours in the day

This weekend I went with two friends to a little home show and lunch! It was so fun...it was my first outing since Schafer's heart surgery. A good "girl's day out" and very needed. When we went to the home show we got to see lots of ladies which were mostly moms that were showcasing merchandise and their talents of things they made. You hate to think it, but I was just saying to myself, "why don't I do this...I have a lot to offer!" I just got that excited flutter in me and tons of ideas that I could do flashing in my brain. One of the girls at the show I know from church came up to talk to me and she asked about Schafer first...which was so nice. Then we talked about me doing some paintings etc. for a website of hers. And that really does sound good to me, mostly cause I have been in a mural rut only, and that is laborsome, hard to find childcare for 2 now, and time consuming. Though I don't want to give it up completely, I just want to do it here and there. I just kept thinking about if I went all out and really focused on my kids paintings and some of my other ideas I really could go somewhere with it. People have me do things for them all the time and I have a waiting list right now of murals to do, but I have them on hold til I'm ready after Schafer's recovery. But it scares me to death!!! I've been really busy in seasons and I had to find people to watch Haiden, neglected my home, hard time going to the grocery store, and so much more. And that brings me to my burden..."how do I focus on a talent when my family and household are much more important?" I know this question is not uncommon. Most mommies struggle with something like this, whether out of necessity or want. I have such a burden about getting too busy I don't even make business cards cause I don't want people to think I do this full time...I know that sounds silly. I have had a few opportunities come my way, but I take them lightly cause if I don't feel like I would have control of my time...then I let it slip away over time. People have told me just keep doing what your doing and when they are in school you'll have more time, but we have thrown around the idea of homeschooling...well, and that would throw that theory out the window (but we are still praying about that topic) and some doors may be opening with heart stuff through the cardiology department at Children's Hospital too(I'll get to that soon) . This is a topic that is a huge prayer issue. Where is the balance? How do I focus on the right things at the right time if I did pursue some avenues? I really have so many questions and alot to lift up in prayer. Do you ever have struggles like this when your family is your world?!

3 comments:

Ali said...

This is the hardest part of being a mommy. I struggle with this daily. When I decided to go back to work part-time it felt like the biggest decision i've ever made. I still feel guilty some days leaving my kiddos while I go to work, and there are still a million other things I want to do with my life other than working. It's a hard subject and I think we have to approach it at what's best for you and your family. There is a season for everything, but as long as we put our families first I don't think it's wrong to do something we enjoy. I think all of us mom's need to lift each other up in prayer on this subject.

Sorry for rambling!

Christi said...

I think that I struggle with this because I like getting encouragement and validation from others. When I'm home, no one sees me clean out a closet! I also like the outside interaction. Ali is right. I think it will go in seasons. It's a constant struggle as a mom. We are fortunate to have the choice on whether to work or not. What a blessing! If we HAD to then there would be added pressure. Just enjoy this season and take it day by day. That's what I'm trying to do along with you:)Besides..I'm going to keep you busy with all of the things that I didn't buy knowing you could make them- ha ha!

E.Gray said...

Such smart friends :) I love that we have each other to pray for us and help us out when we need a sounding board. I agree, that the seasons come and go. If the season right now is for you to focus on your family, which is mine right now too, then be at peace with that. It doesnt mean you cant do a few things that allow you to use your talents and gifts. But the line is so fine, I understand, when you can get sooo overly committed that you regret doing it. So I guess we will just all be praying for each other on this subject. And the talents that you have are sooooo numerous that I am sure it is easy to get a little crazy, but you will always have those talents and you wont always have little babies to take care of and cuddle with :) Love ya girl.