Monday, August 10, 2009

long time but a good time

I have wanted so much to post something for awhile but it just hasn't seemed right to me. Even on Facebook I haven't left many if any posts. I think I have needed an "info" computer break from everyone. I love knowing the news, journeys, struggles, musings and everything else in between of those I know, but I think I needed a break emotionally from all that. This is the first season in which our family is "slowly" venturing out and experiencing life together has a family. Some cool moments that seem so routine to everyone else, but i would pause and stare and reflect was going to one of the frozen yogurt places as a family (so small but such a great time). We also went to dinner with some good friends and it was so weird that Haiden could use a booster seat and Schafer needed a high chair. I know it sounds silly, but I too haven't thought of these transitions til I am there and experiencing them. I sometimes stop and think..."oh my gosh...this is crazy that is the first time I've done this with my family of 4 when everyone I know with 4 or more it is second nature". It will get there soon. That is just me. I will get it down and it too will be a second nature. All that to say, that though our summer isn't crazy eventful it is fast enough for me.
I have also taken on a few painting and logo jobs. I really didn't mean for them to be at one time, but i promise that is how it ALWAYS works. I think that is why I stress. It usually works out I just have a few extra grays and happy customers in the end;). I'll post pics as they are winding up...really cute stuff.
The big thing I have struggled with is what we want to do schooling wise with Haiden and Schafer. I've heard it all. Now, everyone...I don't need "devil's advocate comments" this is a prayerful decision that didn't come easy. I was a public school girl and i did go to private school for 3 years and I loved it. So I am not against those institutions of learning at all. I think you do what is best for your family. I have had a crazy amount of people peppered in my life that home school. I ask questions out of curiosity, but kinda glaze over as they talk cause I just don't see me doing that. But on the flip side...I felt sick sending her to public school and private right now money wise may not be a solid thing right now, but still not liking that option either. All that to say...I have been unsettled about any options, and I really wanted to be confident and excited about where we decide to educate our children. So recently there was a meeting about the pros and cons of homeschooling, and it was good. i didn't leave thinking, "Oh yes, I am gonna home school for sure". No, I had some great solid facts from reputable sources that I agreed with, but did i want that responsibility. I was still unsettled. Well the other day a good friend of ours was telling us about a wedding they went to and it was our "youth ministry days reunion". This was a group of kids (all grown-up) that came after Chris and I got married, but I know names and backgrounds of most. Our friend was telling us the complements from parents of these kids and that these youth are just doing amazing as adults and "love the Lord". And well, isn't that what it is all about at the end of the day. Well, what I didn't realize was most of those kids were home schooled. Their parents were involved and pouring into their lives more than peers and teachers did. Most parents get 2-3 hours an day to instill value, attitude, and anything else that they feel is important. The thing is that so many of the youth "had to find" there way themselves. Not alot of guiding from parents and alot of trust in each other to make life decisions. Did some make it through and turn out fine...sure I still communicate with them. Love them dearly. But when you look at your babies and think about unnecessary struggles, influences, under lying self-confidence problems, and really not able to converse well to adults or in front of people. Why not try. After all...the Lord gave us our kids to take care of. He also was telling us about this leader ship meeting and he was telling us about a title of a book "too small to ignore". Can I just tell you that that comment stuck. That morning I was painting a mural for a church and I had my ipod and was just listening to worship and getting lost in my thoughts. very little interruptions, phone calls, not taking care of anyone at the moment but getting lost in the Lord and painting. Which I would do all the time, but I haven't got to experience in awhile. It was truly a great time touching the Lord. I was at one time just tearing up and weeping as I was painting and It hit me hardcore. Yes, we are going to home school. My little babies are too small to ignore and trust others to pour into their precious lives. I have to at least take it one year at a time. I started getting excited! that is what I was looking for a peace with excitement. Thank you Lord for showing me what we need to do with our kiddos right now. I started thinking about haiden and what would kindergarten look like and let me tell you...fun exciting ideas just started flooding into my head. I never got to learn like that. And of course, I am already thinking of what our learning space will look like. I have to decorate;). Well, that is a touch of my heart and a small insight into our summer. I will try to post more soon. Lots of pics that I haven't posted either. Stay tuned.