schafer's 1st rock/punk birthday

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Well, it has been hard to write this for some reason. I have searched my brain and heart as to why...cause on millions of levels I am so happy and over joyed that my sweet little man made it a year! And what a year to celebrate too. I normally try too hard when it comes to a birthday party. I try to do anything a budget will allow me to do. This party was so difficult...cause to us it was so much more than a 1st birthday party...it was a celebration. I wanted to figure out how to connect our year people missed with the heart surgery in the theme. I really didn't feel like I had to do everything in a "look what I can do" way, no this party was so special. It was more special to me than I thought. It really hit me HARD Sunday night as I was going to bed. Man, Chris and I bickered so much the week of on just trying to get things done, I couldn't make clear quick decisions, I felt very overwhelmed and scattered brained, I would remember what to do then in seconds forget, I never felt like I was done with the details...etc., etc., etc. It was very unsettling. I just had this funk and convenient enough it was the time of month I could have gone without that I'm sure didn't help. I truly felt like I was on a roller coaster..then it hit me that all these things were just things and I have my little boy alive and whole, healthy, and thriving. I really think that's why I kept trying to do more. Just trying in anyway to let people know how special, amazing, reflective, and that we survived and we are blessed. I just didn't realize this in the mist of the planning and executing that nothing can be better or more perfect than him. it just wasn't working for me.

I look at that little boy and he just fills me up with so much love. He is so amazing and he just takes my breathe away. I can't believe that Chris and I were picked to raise him and pour into him. I am so thankful that the Lord created his heart the way he did. It was perfect. I just want my sweet boy to know the Lord so he will then fill that perfect heart with Jesus some day.

To conclude the party...it was lovely. It went well, and we were surrounded by people that have loved us from afar as we have traveled this journey. We are so thankful for everyone of you out there that have poured your prayers, thoughts, golf tournament stuff, love and support to our family. It is so humbling and precious. We love you all! Can't wait for everyone to get to know our little man aka "brave heart". He will touch your heart...just wait til he smiles at you then you will understand. ps...the smilebox at the end has most of the video of schafer's first year we showed at the party. if you want to see the rest you will have to come over, eat popcorn, and hangout. :)